And so now I have arrived at a place I once called home. It is here that I once realized that there wasn't anyone intended for me in this place. I say this not as a martyr; I do not wish to invoke pity. I only wish to imply the truth I've known all along. Sadly, I've carried this truth with me throughout four relationships, one which yielded the consequence of my legacy, my namesake, my fate.

In each of these relationships, the most important one included, I told the most sincerest of lies, if such a thing is possible. The sincerity lied not in a lie; Rather, sincerity was nurtured by my intent. I wanted to love these women; I did, on more than one occasion. The reality, unfortunately, was that even in the presence of love did my heart still find unrest. I knew it was wrong, and still I fought.

And now I ask, if a man lies in hope of his lie coming true, is that nothing more than dreaming, or is it still, in its purest form, a lie?